The 10 Most Dangerous Mistakes YOU Probably MakeWith Men- And What To Do About It...
An email from a friend. Interesting to read if you dont want to break your heart again. :)
Here Are The Top Reasons Why Women Cheat ThemselvesOut Of Living The Love Life Of They're Dreams- AndHow To Make Sure You Avoid Every One Of Them...
Mistake #1) Betting Your Love-Life On His "Potential" Do you know any women who want the manthey're dating to behave differently?
Of course you do. And just like me, I'm sure you have friendswho date guys who don't have much going for themor who don't treat them very well. Somehow these women always have an excusefor the guy's shortcomings. What's going on here? It's actually very simple. Women (and men) don't base their choices ofmen on how "nice" or "good" someone is to themday-to-day.
Women choose the men they do because theyfeel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them.
And guess what?
Some women will continue to put up with aguy that doesn't treat them very well. Sometimes for months or years... But why in the world would a woman do that!? Well, to put it simply, they confuse thestrong attraction they feel for the guy witha deeper "connection". Women who do this are doomed to end upin failed relationships with the "wrong" guys. How do I know? Because I've seen it at least a hundredtimes... And because I've been this guy in the past myself.
Thinking back on past dating and relationshipsI've had, I was selfish and didn't offer much. I'm amazed the women put up with me. But they did...all the while hoping thatI would somehow change.
The women I dated hoped I'd change. The only thing they saw in me that ledthem to want to keep me around was the "potential"they saw in me to share my feelings and communicatewith them. The potential for something better andthe potential for me to change and be a betterlover, boyfriend, companion or whatever... The truth was, I was hopelessly bad at thesethings at the time. And more importantly, I wasn't even at a placein my life where I knew how to or was interestedin developing a deep and committed relationship -with ANYONE.
But deep down these women believed that ifthey tried hard enough, that it would make upfor what was lacking.
They believed that I could become someone elsewith them.... and that this would be easy for usboth. Talk about a losing battle. I don't make a lot of "logical" sense...
But until you accept that lots of women dothis AND that YOU could be doing it on some level,you'll NEVER have the success with men that youchoose and want.
Mistake #2) Assuming You "Get" Men & Their Psychology Men are different from women. You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.
When a woman sees a man, she can very quicklypick apart certain things about his style, bodylanguage, status and character that will tell herall kinds of things about him. Lot's of women don't even consciously see thatthey do this because the process is so obvious andsimple for them.
But does the same apply for men?
As you probably already know, men are generallymore visual. As a result, they often don't understandnon-verbal communication as well as women. And men often lack what women have in emotionalawareness and "intuition".
Women don't seem to remember this about men. So do men feel sexually attracted to w0menbased just on looks? Or is something else going on? Well, after studying this topic for years now,and talking to thousands of men and women, I cantell you that men have their "attraction mechanisms"triggered by things OTHER than looks. Especially when it comes to longer termrelationships.
Looks just happen to be the most obvious way... But looks are NOT the most powerful.
If you know how to use your body language ANDcommunication correctly, you can make men feelthe same kind of powerful sexual attraction toyou that YOU feel when you see that hot, greatlooking guy that you got to know. But it's not an accident.
You have to LEARN how to do this. And ANY woman can learn how...
Mistake #3) Pretending To Be Something For A Man In the desire to please a man, women are constantly doing things to get a man's attention,to get him to like them or to make him more attracted or in love with them.
Another HORRIBLE idea.
Lots of women mistakenly think that doing unusual things to try and get a guys attentionwill make him magically see what a great catch they are and want to be with them.
Wrong.
Men YOU TRULY WANT are never attracted tothe types of women who kiss up to them, makeweak plays for affection or complain to getwhat they want... EVER.
Don't get me wrong here. Things like beingsexy for a man or encouraging him to share hisfeelings can be good, but it has to be genuine,unselfish, and most of all timely.
You don't have to act like an "easy" womanfor men to like you, and you certainly don't haveto play like he's some gift to the Earth.
Doing these things actually works to subtly,at an subconscious level, lower your social statuswith a man, which has EVERYTHING to do with howhe sees you as a woman. So if you think that making him more attractedto you means "playing to the man's fantasies" fromthe start, think again.
You'll never succeed by looking for a man'sapproval, finding your way into his heart throughsex and not being yourself.
Mistake #4) Sharing How You "Feel" Too Early With Him Another huge and unfortunate mistake thatmost women make with men is sharing how they"feel" too early on.
Listen... Attractive, single, successful men are rare.
They get a LOT of attention from women. Most women don't realize this, but attractive menare being approached in one way or another all thetime by women.
And guess what?
Attractive wen have usually dated a lot of women. That's right. They have EXPERIENCE. They know what to expect. And one thing that turns an attractive men offand sends him running away faster than just aboutanything... It's a woman who starts saying "You know, I really,REALLY like you" after one or two dates.
This signals to the man that you're just likeone of those "clingy" stereotype women who wantto rush into a relationship and can't controlyourself from wanting a man to fulfill them andcomplete their lives.
This does NOT spell ATTRACTION for a man. Don't do it. Lean back. Relax. There's a much better way...
Mistake #5) Misreading The Important "Signals" That Men Send Men are constantly communicating how theyfeel about a woman and giving away big secretsabout themselves. Most women don't pay attention to thesesignals or recognize them for what they reallyare.
The signals men send have 4 main levels:
1) Social: Where the man is at in his own life -stability, confidence, direction
2) Emotional: Whether or not he's "emotionally available"
3) Physical: If he's attracted to you and forwhat reasons
4) Love State: If he's open to building and growinga relationship in the future
The funny thing is that men send signals inthese areas completely on accident. That's great news to women.... Men can't help it!
You need to learn to recognize these signals toget anywhere with a man.
Mistake #6) Relying On Your Natural Ability To JudgeA Man's Character People aren't easy to figure out. Especially the opposite sex. The last several years of my life I'vespent hundreds of hours learning to understandpeople. I've studied peoples behavior, "innerpsychology" and more specifically how theythink and act when they're dating.
From what I've seen, both men and womenhave their own secret ways of saying things. But you can only see these secretcommunications if you know what to look for.
Women communicate with hints, bodylanguage, sarcasm, and flirting when they'refirst getting to know a man. They can either directly or indirectlylet men know if they're open to somethingmore serious.
Men are different. Men generally communicate with sarcasm,humor, cockyness and other "indirect" displaysof status. Very rarely will a man be able to honestlycommunicate to a woman whether or not he'sready or capable of developing a meaningfulrelationship. Aside from their sexual interests, mensend very indirect signals about where they'reat.
If you don't know how to read through thesignals men send, then you'll get the wrongmessage. Getting the wrong messages from men causeswomen more pain and heartache than any otherissue around.
You can avoid this pain if you learn toindentify a good man from a bad one.
Mistake #7) Expecting A Relationship To Make You Happy A mistake I've seen women make is thinkinga guy will change her life and make her happyand fulfilled. And sure, there are situations and relationshipswhere this happens.
But those are the exceptions, not the rule.
Nothing says "Run!" to a man faster thanhearing or sensing that a woman immediatelywants him to take care of her.
And the men who ARE looking for this kindof situation aren't exactly the most healthy,loving, nurturing people out there.
Think, "controlling, macho or serious Mom Issues!" So let me be clear....
I think it's important that people helpfulfill each other in their lives, whetherit's dating, a relationship, etc. But if a woman communicates that she'slooking for a guy to take care of her, completeher, make her whole, and all that kind ofstuff - it has a VERY negative effect on whatthe man will think of her. It doesn't have to be spoken by the womaneither... If a woman thinks or feels this way, the manwill see it and pick up on it, regardless. This is arguably the worst thing a womancan do early on when dating a man.
So what can you do as a woman?
You can get the man interested and involvedin your life in a more "natural" way, wherehe'll be motivated to make you care about yourhappiness and fulfillment on his own.
This is the only way it really works forpeople - male or female.
Self-motivation is much stronger than externalmotivation. But you have to know how to create this situationwith a man....and it rarely happens by accident.
Mistake #8) Trying To "Convince" Him To Like You Or Love You What do most women do when they meet a manthat they REALLY like... but he's just notthat interested or isn't as serious?
Right! They try to "convince" the man tofeel differently.
Well, I have news for you... YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A MAN "FEELS" WHENIT COMES TO ATTRACTION!
Never, ever, ever.
You cannot convince a man to feel differentlyabout you with "logic and reasoning". Think about it. If a man doesn't "feel it" for you, how inthe world do you expect to change that by being"reasonable" with him? But we all do it.
Men are the worst at this by the way. They're always complimenting women whodon't like them and buying them gifts. Women like the behavior sometimes, but itNEVER makes the woman like the man. She might enjoy what she gets out of it,but it doesn't change the way she FEELSabout him. When a man just isn't interested, womenwill try and chase, compliment, convince anddo their best to change his mind with logicaland rational approaches. Bad idea. Another one that will never work.
Mistake #9) Not Knowing What To Do In Each Type Of Situation A man has a clear idea of what he wants from a woman...
And I don't mean just sex. I know, it might be hard to believe, butif you're out on a date with a man, he alreadyhas an idea of what he wants from you. And if you don't know HOW to find this out,and you just sit there looking at him and flirting,or trying things you think will make him want you,he won't help!
If you don't know what to do in each situation,you'll probably screw it up... and LOSE EVERYTHING.
Mistake #10) Not Getting Help This is the biggest mistake of all. This mistake keeps women from EVER havingthe kind of success and finding the kind ofman and relationship that they truly want. I know, you don't like to make yourselflook weak or helpless. We don't like to askfor help.
